


The 10 things to do to defend your home from Hedorah.

by MasterOfGray



Series: The 10 things to if a certain keiju is in your city. [5]
Category: Godzilla - Fandom
Genre: Funny, Gen, Humorous, please don’t be mean and try to go completely green., semi educational, talks about environmental issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-09
Updated: 2014-09-09
Packaged: 2018-02-16 19:15:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2281446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MasterOfGray/pseuds/MasterOfGray
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Since 1971 Hedorah has been destroying and polluting our world. And now with the help of some researchers here is a list of 10 things to do if running is not in your verb. 10 things that are both funny and environmentally safe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The 10 things to do to defend your home from Hedorah.

Disclaimer-none of this belongs to me.  
The 10 things to do to defend your home from Hedorah.

 

1) In all the research ever documented Hedorah has had to be one of the most unusual, hardest to kill, and most disturbing of all the kaijus ever witnessed by mankind. The reason for that being is even though its root origins lay in space its strength and destructive capabilities come from our very own neglect and mistreatment of our very own world and in line making Hedorah one of the strongest monsters mankind has ever created. Luckily with almost all things disastrous with the help of both humanity and the strength of the natural world creatures like Hedorah can be defeated. For those not interested in fleeing and taken shelter at a safe location out of the path of this kaiju here is a list of to dos too protect and defend from this smog monster.

 

2) Hedorah is a creature made of every type of waste and pollution a civilization can dump, bury, throwaway, or flush. Its name literally translates to sludge, slime, vomit, or chemical ooze. Making this thing one of the foulest smelling kaiju to ever exist. Battering down the hatches of your home for the coming of this thing should be similar too the steps token to prepare your house for a hurricane, the only difference with this one is that instead of trying to wait out the natural disaster it is far better that in this case to prepare for the worst and then just leave. To start shot tightly and lock every window and door in your home or apartment from top to bottom. Use duct tape to seal any crevices or cracks that might be noticeable to make sure that none of the smog monster’s slime doesn’t ooze through. After that barricade those with plywood and nails doing the same for the open chimney. 

 

3) The smog monster has a hatred for fire but a weakness to high voltage electricity. Consider as a first line of defense making your own barricade of electrical wiring. Constructing your own electrical fence would be a major act of ingenuity but also really, really, dangerous so if engineering wasn’t your major in college try and purchase a lower range electrical fence for your yard. These types of fencing are usually used to keep deer out of gardens and pets in a perimeter; the charge in these fences is low but should be enough to defend against the kaiju. If better judgment returns and finding some place to hide has become your thing too, then consider taking shelter behind the walls of a maximum security prison. Their electrical fences are first class. 

 

4) Another defense that you might consider trying for minor protection would be sprinkling Sea Salt, Baking Soda, and Comet around the boundaries of your home. In the hopes that these purifiers will burn and dissolve the hard grimy substance of the kaiju as well as making his cleanup after his moving on much easier.

 

5) If going out and fighting Hedorah is more your thing than try making some homemade weapons. Some squirt guns of various sizes could be filled with dish detergent, Pines Saw, Mr. Clean, disinfectant, and Bleach. Smoke bombs can be made out of cans of Lysol with the nozzle pushed in. Fireworks that can be lit and fired from a distance could make great bullets.

 

6) If fighting is still what you want to do but have no means of making weapons then think about signing up for the military. If you’re not already a part of the armed forces then contact your town leader and see if the military is asking for civilian ad in helping them with their kaiju problem. Hedorah is one of the few giant monsters that the army has ever been able to hold their own against for long periods of time.

 

7) Something to remember when fighting this kaiju is that it is also made up of toxic waste and getting too close to it can be hazardous. So when approaching the sludge beast please wary a hazard suit and/or a gas mask.

 

8) This kaiju is lethal no matter what shape or how much of it is around. All pieces of Hedorah can grow in mass by absorbing pollution in its surroundings. If a small piece of the smog monster is found please do not touch it with your bare hands or attempt to grab it. Please call the proper authorities to come and contain it and in the meantime from a safe distance attempt to dry it out by aiming a hair dryer or leaf blower on it.

 

9) If Hedorah is defeated, to keep it from coming back and paranoia low please simply recycle. To prevent the return of the smog monster recycling will help lessen the pollution that made this creature all that it could be. So when you can please dispose of hazardous chemicals and batteries at proper locations, recycling is free in most places and in others it can pay for aluminum and tin. Pick up garbage on the side of the road and keep our Rivers and oceans clean, plant trees and flowers, do all that you can do to make our world a cleaner place and to keep Hedorah from ever coming back.

 

10) If all else fails and your defenses have come crumbling down then stand back and let Godzilla and the military handle it. Together they will be able to turn this kaiju to dust.

**Author's Note:**

> For those who may not know I also have a Godzilla version of this. The 10 things to do if Godzilla attacks your city. Just go to my arthurs name and scroll down through my stories you find it they’re.
> 
> P.S. Don’t be shy, give me your FIY. Please review.


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